We all know it’s important to dance with your beloved. But don’t forget your friends! Not only does it make for good photos, it makes for good memories.
photo: Gia Canali
Tag Archive for 'itinerary'
There’s so much pressure these days to fit it all in—even in the face of the so called non-traditional wedding—folks are going for every possible potentially meaningful moment and kitschy tradition (and diy detail!) they can think of. It is like having an all-you-can-eat-buffet mentality to planning your wedding. I say: let’s take it easy. Do a few things well. Make your wedding one where you can enjoy good food and the company of good friends and family. After all, that’s why you’re having a wedding with people attending.
Congratulations, Tom & Kimberly!
The first wedding I photographed was my high school friend Kori’s. In the weeks before the wedding, nobody was planning to or hired to take photographs, so I volunteered. I was justifiably mortified that this momentous occasion might go undocumented—and was apparently (happily) undeterred by my lack of experience.¹ The wedding day was a whirl—so much happening—an emotional ceremony, the reception in her father’s barn, a pig roast (!), and Kori had made her own beautiful dress by hand, complete with a whole backful of real buttons. Taking photographs was so exhilarating that I raced out to a one-hour photo developer as soon as I left the party. I was completely impatient to see the photographs we’d made²— which (thank God!) turned out great—and wanted Kori to be able to bring the pictures on her honeymoon.
What surprised me most at that first wedding and what I could never have anticipated was the transformation Kori made from woman to bride. I mean: Kori was really a very pretty girl, but as a bride, she absolutely shone. Now I’ve documented well over a hundred weddings (maybe hundreds?), and though expected, the transformation of every woman to bride is no less dramatic. This transformation, I believe, is why we all love the getting ready photographs.
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We know we are going to outdo ourselves. And somewhere in that getting ready time is where it happens. Also, it’s one of the few parts of the day that our spouses don’t see. So there’s a natural curiosity. And for my part, I know I really had wanted to see evidence of my husband preparing for our wedding. Despite the obsession on all our parts, it’s easy to make design mistakes that adversely affect the getting ready photographs. Fortunately, it’s just as easy to take some simple measures to ensure gorgeous getting ready photographs.
1. Choose a room with good light. I love when brides and grooms get ready at their home or at their parents’ homes. Obviously, this isn’t possible at destination weddings. If you get ready in a hotel or other location, choose a room with bright indirect light (like with nice giant north facing windows, if we’re going to be picky!).
2. Make the space clean and tidy. Or if you choose to get ready in chaos (think big family, big bridal party chaos), let it be beautiful chaos. This is sometimes the hardest part to manage, but it is essential—and it really impacts the photographs. The room, of course, is the backdrop for all your getting ready photographs. Keep luggage neatly packed and out of the way. If you’re in a hotel, call housekeeping service and have the beds made up and room cleaned.
3. If at all possible, make it possible for your photographers to go back and forth between the bride’s getting ready location and the groom’s. Two rooms in proximity are always a good choice. You’ll get more photographs for your time. No matter what, don’t forget about the groom. Watching the groom figure out how to get dressed is sometimes the best part! His exciting getting-ready photos only take about fifteen minutes (well, honestly sometimes about three minutes), so it won’t detract from your coverage. Schedule his getting ready photographs while you’re getting your makeup started. Nobody really wants photographs before the foundation goes on anyway. (A side note is that a lot of couples request a divide-and-conquer strategy for the getting ready photographs, but you should definitely check with your photographers to see if this works well with the way they shoot. I dislike dividing cameras and resources, and my husband and I have developed a great way of shooting together.)
4. If intimate getting ready photographs are important to you, consider wearing lovely lingerie for the getting ready photographs (even if you plan to switch to Spanx for the rest of the day). Let your modesty guide you, of course. If you want to wear a lacy bra or corset while you’re getting your makeup done—or just while you’re getting ready to put on your dress—so be it. But if you’d rather sneak into your dress in private, that’s totally up to you.
5. The details matter. Most brides love photographs of all the little details they’ve spent months (or more) acquiring: the dress, the shoes, jewelry, bouquet, etc. So keep these details easy to access. I also suggest bringing your own pretty hanger to hang the dress on. My favorite hangers are antique.
6. Schedule your preparation time properly—and pad your schedule. Allow enough time to do everything you need to do—hair, makeup, dressing, driving between locations (all you LA brides)—and then some. If you have a complicated gown with lacing, real buttons, or lots of layers, allow extra time to dress. More often than (I’m sure) your stylists would like to admit, hair and makeup run as much as an hour and a half behind. The indecent measure of stress that adds to your wedding day shows in the photographs. The best case scenario involves you having time for a champagne toast with your attendants.
7. Save five minutes (or more!) after you’re all ready for a few portraits before you go out into the busy-ness of your wedding day. Your hair and makeup are still perfect and the bridal transformation is complete.
What do you think makes the biggest impact on getting ready photographs? I’d love to hear … Leave a comment and we may update this post or add another on that topic.
photo credit: Gia Canali
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¹ I have this theory that the so-called beginner’s luck is formed by the blissful unawareness of what we are to fear, like an ingenue’s confidence. It’s helpful. We learn to fear things (like lost rolls of film, poor exposures, getting heckled during family photographs, etc.) only later on.
² This was in the all-film era, of course. I grew up near Rochester, NY, Kodak’s headquarters. So I’d seen digital cameras. Several years before, one of my prom dates’ fathers had a prototype digital camera from work and had taken photos of all us kids dressed up for prom. We were wowed when he showed them to us a moment later on his computer.
I spent my weekend laughing and crying my way through my cousin’s wedding—and thinking a lot about why we do what we do at weddings (and why we should!) and some of the things I love photographing at weddings. Because weddings, even the so-called untraditional ones, are steeped in tradition. So I’d like to blog about traditions I love (as a photographer, of course!). Some of my favorites are from Jewish and Chinese wedding traditions—creating a chuppah, visiting tables, and changing dresses. But there are plenty of traditions I see at almost all weddings that I love just as much and hope don’t disappear in the push to cast off tradition.
Part I, Traditions I Sometimes See That Make For Great Photographs:
The huppah is lovely for a number of reasons. Not only is it symbolically meaningful, signifying shelter for the couple and four open sides of their marriage, but it provides a beautiful backdrop for the ceremony. Clearly this has been on my mind the last couple of weeks. I have seen gorgeous huppahs made from the talis (prayer shawl) of a loved one who has passed away, ones decorated with flowers, photographs, branches, swaths of fabric, lace, and chandeliers. I have also seen modern reinterpretations of the huppah with potted trees, but no covering, or with staging the ceremony under the canopy of Japanese maple trees or a large oak.
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Whatever your religious creed, and particularly if you plan to wed outdoors or in a venue that’s not traditionally used for weddings, creating a focal point for the ceremony can be helpful and add visual interest to your wedding.
Another tradition that I love, and see mostly at Chinese or Asian-American weddings is greeting the guests at the dinner tables by the bride, groom, and their families. Everyone carries a glass of champagne. Guests at each table often offer a toast.
This affords the bride and groom and their families a chance to happily interact with their guests, if briefly— something that may not otherwise happen. And unlike with a receiving line (or formal table shots, for that matter), the photographs are really fun—everyone smiling and laughing with the festive detail of clinking champagne glasses. Even if you do not want to go around to tables, do make time for your guests. Both your wedding album and memories will be much richer for it.
Another favorite tradition that I’m starting to see cross-over cultural boundaries is the changing of the bride’s dress. At Chinese and Chinese-American weddings, the bride will sometimes change her dress as many as four times at the reception, signifying the changing of the seasons. (A simpler incarnation of this tradition is that the bride will wear a white dress for the ceremony and a traditional red one for the reception). Now that I think about it, there is a lot of costume changing in a lot of (usually Asian) wedding traditions. In the photograph below, Joy and Darrell were on outfit number two out of three. Traditional Vietnamese, Filipino, and American costumes all made an appearance throughout the night!
With western-style weddings, I’ve seen the bride change from her full-length wedding gown into a shorter, white cocktail gown for the reception. Not only is it wonderful to satisfy our collective love of a little-white-dress (and what better than two of them?), but it helps change the tone of the party. A ceremony can be formal and grand, but the reception could still take on a more flirty and playful tone. At the very least, it’s fun to imagine the possibilities. And as long as we’re imagining, it’s fun to imagine it on an unlimited budget!
Part II, Traditions I See Quite Often and Will Always Love:
1. The giving away of the bride. I think the historical tradition behind this is kind of archaic, but I love it anyway. The need to wed in the presence/support of family and friends is still a powerful cultural instinct (and the giving away of the bride does illustrate her family’s blessing of the marriage). I love sometimes seeing both parents—and not just the father—give the bride away, too. Photographically, that moment just before they walk down the aisle can be perfectly magical, emotional, and honest. Logistically, it’s not always possible to be there. But sometimes, I choose to be there, even if it means I photograph the bride and her father walking down the aisle from behind. Those images can show the environment and sentiment of the moment so well.
As an aside, I think I promote any interaction between the parents and the bride and groom. I wish I had involved my parents more at my own wedding. The father usually has his two (fleeting) moments of glory—walking the bride down the aisle, and dancing a first dance with her. But what about the mother? And are two minutes with your father enough? My suggestion is to look for meaningful moments. Seek them out. And make them happen.
2. The first kiss. Seriously, truly, and always. My heart melts when the couple hugs just after they kiss.
3. The recessional! It’s always so happy!
4. Cutting the cake¹, by which I mean watching the couple figure out how to cut the cake, followed by that superbly sweet first bite, followed by the even sweeter kiss. That’s really my favorite part.
5. The first dance. Why have people stopped doing this as a matter of course?
6. Also, I ♥ big group dances. The hora, Persian dancing, Greek dancing, line dancing, whatever!
Actually, if I could draw one conclusion now that I look at all these traditions I love is that all of them center around the bride and groom interacting with each other and their friends and family in wonderful, meaningful ways.
One of my clients’ priests told them to participate in (only) the traditions that mean something to them. I agree. Good advice. Really good advice. To that I would like to add … planning a moment doesn’t cheapen its meaning at all. I think there’s a misguided hope that meaningful moments will just naturally happen on their own. But your wedding day passes by at lightning speed—so why risk it?
There’s a feeling, or at least, I have a feeling that these are moments that we all (as humans) are supposed to have and to share and to enjoy, and that even the most unconventional among us looks forward to from childhood, and that as adults, we look forward to sharing with our children, nieces, and nephews.
photo credit: Gia Canali
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¹ Just to clarify, it doesn’t have to be cake. Just something sweet. That’s the point, anyway. So cupcakes, honey, a favorite family dessert, whatever satisfies your sweet tooth.
Your photographer wants you to have a wonderful wedding—the kind of seamless experience that works with the kind of wedding day you want to have, rather than fights against it. That is, we want you to have both the wedding you want and the beautiful photographs to remember it by. And all of us photographers know that it is much easier to make flattering photographs of people who are truly enjoying themselves. People who are not stressed out.
A healthy dose of realism goes a long way in preventing stress. So a lot of what Pursuing the Picture Perfect Wedding will deal with is what I like to call the pre-wedding reality check—reconciling your expectations (for the wedding, not just for photography) with the reality of time constraints. The wedding is only one day, after all.
There are a few misconceptions photographers deal with that affect the wedding day plans (and therefore, the itinerary, the “time constraints”) directly. The first misconception is that hiring a hiring a wedding “photojournalist” means that you do not need to take time to make photographs. Or that making great photographs—from any style photographer—requires no effort on the part of the subject (i.e., the bride and groom).
This is simply not true. If you want beautiful portraits of you and your husband (posed, unposed, candid, relaxed), you’ll want to get away from the busy-ness of the rest of the wedding so you can interact with each other. Alone. And ideally, you’ll get to do this in a beautiful, uncluttered environment, during the day’s best light. You’d be surprised to see how, if you’re not vigilant, your “intimate portrait” time can get whittled down with other distractions and obligations. So it’s smart to allow at least 30 minutes for portraits of you and your husband.
If you want photographs with your family and bridal party (and you probably do—they are an important part of your family history), then you’ll need to make time for those, too. We suggest limiting the group photographs to the most essential combinations—extended and immediate family, parents, grandparents (if present), and siblings (if applicable) on both sides; whole bridal party, bride and her attendants, groom and his. Not everybody even elects to have a photograph with the extended families. Depending on the number of people involved in the photos, a streamlined series of group photographs can take about 30 minutes. *
(An aside: if you want lots of photographs with your friends, family, and guests, ask your photographer if she can do a photo booth. It’s really fun for absolutely everybody and it doesn’t take away any time from other wedding day festivities).
(I took the above photograph at a wedding at St. Andrew’s in Scotland. A neighbor saw the wedding ceremony and offered their garden for portraits afterwards. Because we had all planned time to take a long walk and make portraits, we were able to jump at the opportunity. It was a happy detour and the garden photographs added a welcome spot of color to their wedding album.)
The other misconception, which is nearly related to the first, is that you can get away with not planning time for the things that are going to have to happen on your wedding day. For instance, a lot of couples think they can skip seeing each other beforehand and not miss any of their cocktail hour/reception—and still come away with great photographs. This, too, simply isn’t true. There are a several different ways to plan your itinerary, but planning it without time for the things that need to happen—like getting your hair and makeup done, like getting yourself to your venues, like taking some photographs—spells disaster, or at least disappointment and lots of stress. Let me say again, stressed out people look stressed out in photographs. And even I had to submit to getting my hair and makeup done and taking posed family photographs at my own wedding.
So, allow time for everything you are planning to do: get your hair done, get your makeup done (these things often run upwards of 45 minutes behind, so I suggest padding your itinerary early in the day), get dressed (allow more time for a complicated gown), get to your venues, get married, take photographs, make toasts, eat dinner, etc., etc. If you want anything special or unusual, for instance, a vintage process photograph that may require a little extra time to set up and take … allow time for that, too.
In the next post, we are going to show several different, workable itineraries. If you have questions about how long things typically take, ask your photographer and other vendors. Chances are, they’ve worked at hundreds of weddings and have a very reliable sense of how things go and what works in a wedding day itinerary.
photo credit: Gia Canali
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*Note: A disproportionate amount of time goes into planning what amounts to about eight family photos and three bridal party photographs—it’s only because there are so many people involved and your photographer wants to make sure it goes as efficiently as possible … Don’t get stressed out that you somehow got tricked into hiring a so-called “traditional” photographer. Your photographer is just trying to help you make the most of your time. You don’t want to be away from your guests and party for an hour … maybe an hour and ten minutes.
