We’ve got celebrity wedding planner, Yifat Oren, back with us today, offering one more expert wedding planning tip and it’s an especially good one to heed:

“There’s a whole art to the pacing of a party and the energy of a party.”

“If you create too many lulls, your reception will not be as great as it could be.  Waiting in between courses too long without giving guests something to do – like geting them up and dancing or listening to toasts – can really suck the life out of a party.   When creating your timeline, pay special consideration to timing.  A good rule of thumb is to serve a course and then have a couple of toasts.  After the toasts, clear the course and either get your guests up for some dancing or come out with the next course immediately.  For all this to run smoothly, your caterer/banquet captain at a hotel and band leader must work closely together with a well-thought-out timeline.  Ideally, you would also have someone there on the day of the wedding to manage this process and be the liaison.”

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Thinking about the flow of your party when you create your timeline is essential, particularly in considering your guests.  But a well-thought-out timeline won’t help you if you don’t stick to it (or, at least, as much as is up to you). I’m not saying, don’t let yourselves be spontaneous. I’m saying: plan for the experience you want to have and share with your guests and then have it (don’t just think it’ll happen).  Your wedding crew will be busy doing the best job they can to realize that dream wedding day for you.  Poor planning and big deviations can impact what they can do for you and can halt the party you’ve hoped for and imagined.  Plus,  a lively party renders much better on film.  Thanks (again!), Yifat.

photo: Gia Canali

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Yifat Oren has spent the last dozen years planning weddings and parties for some of the most discerning folks in Hollywood. When asked about her work, Yifat says, “I love what I do because I love what goes into weddings:  design and décor, food and wine, fine papers, entertainment, and even the creativity that goes into executing it all flawlessly.   I think the best weddings I do are a great collaboration between the clients and myself—that kind of collaboration breeds the most creative, trend-setting results.”

Those clients are high-powered and high-profile, everyone from Mariska Hargitay & Peter Hermann and Christine & Kevin Costner, to a host of Hollywood producers and business moguls.  And while a lot of what these folks do for their weddings seems (or is!) totally unattainable for most of us, some of the most important and impactful aspects of planning a fantastic wedding translate perfectly to diy (or do-it-with-a-little-help) wedding planning.  You don’t necessarily need more money or a bigger wedding budget; you just need a little forethought.

Consider The Guest Experience:

“Be thoughtful and cover your bases. When I’m planning a wedding, I walk through the entire event ahead of time, as if I am a guest. I imagine, for instance, “I just got off the shuttle. I left my hotel room an hour ago.  I’m probably thirsty and I need shade because it’s hot.  So we would serve cold beverages as soon as people get off the shuttle to quench their thirst and either a canopy or some market umbrellas for shade.  The grass is tricky to walk on because ladies’ heels will sink. So we put out ‘heel savers’ … and so on, throughout the rest of the party, ending with a heater near the valet station, to be sure your guests aren’t freezing as they wait for their vehicles.”

Here are a few specific areas you can consider:

1.    Be thoughtful about parking.

If you’re not doing a valet, it’s okay—just make sure there’s plenty of parking so your guests don’t have to walk too far or fight for spots.”

2.    Consider the weather.

If there’s sun in everybody’s eyes during the ceremony, it’s awful.  So offer some parasols or change the direction of the ceremony if possible.  It’s nice to let people know, especially the ladies, what they can expect in terms of weather and terrain for the wedding day.  If they’ll need to wear wedges, let them know.  If it’s going to be cool during the evening but hot during the day, they might not think to bring wraps, so let them know ahead of time or provide them yourself.”

3.    Consider the general appeal of the food.

You can be a total foodie, but if you want to serve something that’s wild and out there, do it as one of six appetizers, not as the main entreé that comes out for dinner.”

4.    Consider your bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Usually they have to be there hours ahead of time.  Make sure there are cold drinks for them, somewhere for them to hang their coats and stash their stuff, somewhere to sit down, and some shade, especially in the summer.”

5.    Consider the bathrooms.

Have someone checking the bathrooms throughout the night.  Make sure they are clean, well-stocked, and that the plumbing is working.  We like to set out nice hand-towels, not linen ones, but nice linen-like paper ones.  We also leave things your guests might need in the bathroom—a nail file, clear nail polish, extra deodorant, nice soap, lotion, safety pins, a mini sewing kit, and feminine hygiene products.”

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I think that we (the wedding-ready universe) spend a lot of time thinking about who to invite and about hiring services, but not so much time about the experience of those services for ourselves and our invited guests. Hiring services is not the same thing as creating an experience. These tips are really helpful in taking diy wedding planning that one very important step further—having bathrooms at your venue, for instance, isn’t the same thing as having continually clean, well-stocked bathrooms for you and your guests all night long.  Small but important details can be not-thought-of at all.  Of course, in a world where we all had business-mogul-sized wedding budgets, we’d want to hire an experienced and expert wedding planner to think of all these things for us (because, believe me, Yifat thinks of everything).    Check back tomorrow for part two. Thanks, Yifat!

photo: Gia Canali

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We love wedding toasts!  For one thing, hearing how other folks love the bride and groom makes us—and everybody at a wedding, I think—adore the bride and groom even more.  And the photographs of the bride and groom and the guests reacting to toasts can be so fun (though, in fact, that could go either way if the toasts are deadly-long or if there are too many of them, come to think of it).

Somehow, toasts are more-often-than-not overlooked in the orchestration and choreography of the wedding day—but they’re important because the toasts themselves can be very meaningful and the photos do actually sometimes make it into the finished wedding album. So, naturally, you want the toasting photos to be their best selves.  (And don’t think that this magically won’t happen to you on your wedding day … )

Here are a few easy tips for setting yourself up to have picture perfect toasts:

1. Have the speaker stand somewhere with a nice background and nice light, even if that spot is right at his or her dinner table.  Ample ambient light is the best kind.
2. Please don’t put your toaster in front of an EXIT sign. (This is just an expansion of point #1, I suppose).
3. Make sure your photographer is present. If you have a planner, he or she can help with this.  If you are diy-planning, you’ll need to keep an eye on this yourself.  Although your photographer may stick close by your side the entire rest of the day, during dinner time, she could be off taking photographs in another part of the event, or trying to take a quick dinner break.  If unscheduled or unannounced toasts happen, she can miss them.
4. Toasts REALLY TRULY need to be short and sweet.  Haute wedding planner, Yifat Oren, notes,”it’s a toast, not a roast.  Toasts should be short and sweet and moving and anecdotal. The longest amount of time for any one toast should be seven minutes, but preferably no longer than five.  You can say a lot in seven minutes.”  And, “if you’re planning to have 35 minutes of toasts, don’t do it all at once.”  It’s hard for the guests to sit through a bunch of long toasts (read: boring) and can bring the whole party to a halt. If someone really wants to give a long toast or say something much more expansive to or about you and your beloved, the rehearsal dinner might afford a better and more intimate opportunity for that kind of thing.

Check back tomorrow for an interview with Yifat, full of tips from celebrity weddings that are applicable to weddings on any budget.

photographs: Gia Canali

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We all know it’s important to dance with your beloved.  But don’t forget your friends!  Not only does it make for good photos, it makes for good memories.

photo: Gia Canali

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photographs: Gia Canali

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Some weddings are so marvelously right.  Julia & Eli’s was one of them. The equation might have read: happy couple + beautiful yard + perfect day + perfect night + joyous guests + “fireflies” = magical. We’ve featured bits of their wedding all summer, partly because I think this blogging real weddings thing rushes me much too much—as I prefer to turn over my photographic fascinations slowly—but mostly because we loved their wedding.  Even the intangible things, like Eli saying his {vows}.  Above, one of several Polaroid 55s I took.

{click any image to enlarge}

We loved the whimsical florals and decor by Krislyn.  The groom’s boutonniere was fashioned from a single (tiny) perfect echeveria ‘afterglow’.  I grow them in my garden, and in just the right light, the pinkish rims really do glow.  Below: celebrity stylists Nina and Clare Hallworth help Julia into her gown.   Sweetest up-do ever by Chris McMillan. Chris did Julia’s hair three or four times that morning before he came up with the final look, which made me realize how essential it is to allow all the vendors at a wedding time to give a top-notch performance.  (More on that later.)  I never would have guessed tulips would have been “just the thing,” but they were, and Chris’s hairdo inspired lots and lots of my photographs of Julia.

I spoke with Nina and Clare for a few moments before the reception, and asked if they had any advice for my blog readers.   They said it was so important to take time (by which they meant quiet time) to get dressed.  The way they spoke of dressing, it seemed like dressing oneself and composing oneself were the same act.

Some details from the ceremony.  The huppah was one of a kind, with peonies, branches, and a quilt the groom’s mother made by hand.  Yifat Oren & her gifted crew, led by Amy Cain, masterminded the design and production of the whole affair. Great job, Amy!

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Nina and Clare reused Julia’s veil as a wrap during cocktails and dinner.  It was not only a very inventive instantly “upcycled” accessory, but offered Julia a second glorious look for the evening. Bride’s gown, Carolina Herrera.  Groom’s three-piece suit (♥!), Tom Ford.

Above: a few images from Julia and Eli’s hora.  I love getting guests out on the dance floor (and before sundown if possible).  It’s one of the few chances we ever have in a wedding day for truly energetic and totally camera unaware photographs of everyone who came out to celebrate your tying-the-knot.

Because it was so sunny and because so much was going on in both the front yard and back yard all day, we couldn’t do any outdoor portraits.  So Julia and Eli agreed to sneak away for a quick walk after their first dances.  So worth it!

Julia felt differently about the sunshiny day.  She was thrilled to wake at six that morning and see the sun was out.  Those of you who live in Southern California will know “June Gloom,” and Julia & Eli’s wedding day was the first day after our (particularly long) June Gloom ended this year.  I laughed when she told me this: when I awoke on my own wedding day, I, too, jumped out of bed to see what the light was like, but was practically gleeful to discover a bright overcast morning!

Julia’s advice? She says to take a couple days to do relaxing things before the wedding.  On the day of the wedding, she had no stress for the first time in the planning process!

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The End.

p.s. I left lots of stuff out. I want to have photographs to illustrate my “real” posts!

photographs: Gia Canali

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There’s no need to tell nice people to be nice or smart people to be smart (of course!), so let’s just say I’m stating the obvious: We all work harder and perform better when we feel appreciated. On your wedding day, you want what I’ll call “inspired” performances from your photographer—and all your vendors.  The running-to-get-more-portraits couple from last week’s post is a good model.  We didn’t have a ton of time together, but Dara and Dan really wanted to take advantage of whatever time we could get.  Their enthusiasm made me want to go out of my way to make their portrait time even better.  We had a great time together, and are happy to share a few of the images from their sessions.

Click on any photograph to enlarge.

At Dara and Dan’s welcome party, we took about fifteen minutes to take photographs on the beach …

At the wedding, Dara and Dan decided not to see each other before the ceremony.  So we photographed them each separately before the ceremony, and then took about thirty minutes—just before dark—to take photographs on the beach, in lounging huts, on the wooden paths that led to the beach and the reception. Taking a few minutes here and there in a variety of different locations can make a big impact.

Here are some in the last pink light before the sun set …

We were running in the sweltering heat to get these photographs, and the sun had just set as we took the last few frames.  Even so, I couldn’t resist getting one more image on a toy camera:

It proved logistically impossible to schedule the photographs they wanted in this “domino hut” on their wedding day, but because their enthusiasm to work for good pictures was so contagious, I volunteered to meet them the morning after the wedding for a few more portraits.

The nice thing about a day-after-the-wedding session, or a respect-the-dress-post-nuptial-portrait-session, as one of my clients calls them, is that the session can be both more intimate and less formal. I love the balance between sexy and playful.  Both bride and groom are much more relaxed.

To view more of Dara and Dan’s wedding, please feel free to visit their gallery on my website {here}.

sources: Monique Lhuillier for both gowns.  The one Dara wore to the welcome party and post-nuptial portraits was a shortened version of that lovely gray tulle one from Lhuillier’s spring 2008 collection. Venue was Parrot Cay Resort.  Thanks to Yifat Oren and her fantastic crew for helping Dara and Dan make so much time for portraits!

photo credit: Gia Canali

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